Self-care and the Slow Hustle
Sometimes we need to move slowly, so that we may move more powerfully later.
—yung pueblo
We live in a fast-paced world. And the only truly non-renewable resource we have is time.
So we try to squeeze as much into each day, week, month, minute… We “hustle hard” and fast… in this race against the clock.
But it’s exhausting. I’m exhausted.
And I found myself questioning, “why am I even doing this?” and asking “what if I didn’t?”
I mean now I’m my own boss. I make my own schedule, deadlines and decisions. For the first time in my life as a creative (and recovering workaholic), there was no real clock. Or maybe there was, but I was the one setting it.
And I realized I wasn’t racing time. I was racing against myself.
Okay, cue the existential crisis.
But, not to worry. As a solopreneur, I have one weekly. 😂
And my questioning always turns into, “why am I like this?”
Part of it is just the way my mind works. It’s what makes me who I am as a creative. The fantasy of it all feels very Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory—an extraordinary world of…. pure imagination, I guess.
Except the reality is I am less care-free Gene Wilder with boundless energy and more Oompa Loompa—with my skin turning color (white instead of orange from not getting any sunlight) and my body is softening from not getting exercise or eating properly. Oh yeah, and I have similarly resorted to a uniform because I haven’t done laundry in weeks. I’m also living off of chocolate because I’ve not gone grocery shopping.
Here’s live footage of me emerging from my studio and realizing I had once again fallen into the depths and darkness of overwork and “under-care”:
When we think of (and use words like) hustle and grind, we expect to be doing and going, 24/7; to work hard and fast in order to beat the competition or the odds stacked against us.
We live in fear that if we slow down or miss a beat, that we will fall behind, fall short or, worse, fail.
But the truth is… we are not magical chocolate factories. And if we slow down, or even stop for just a minute, people will still want chocolate. (I know, mind blowing.)
So I decided to take a new approach to hustling hard and chasing my dreams. Something I call the slow hustle—and here’s my manifesto:
01
I will create space.
I stopped filling each minute of my day leaving no room for self-care and I started creating space for unstructured time and thought.
—What this looks like IRL
The first 2-4 hours of my day are completely unstructured. I leave it wide open with no meetings, no tasks and no expectations.
I do whatever I need or feel based on what inspires me but also how tired or energized I am. Doing this has actually resulted in this time being my most productive of the day. The lack of structure and pressure has allowed my brain the space to think more clearly and quickly.
There have been days where I’ve pumped out a new guide, outlined a course, restructured my services, created content or had an a-hah moment about my business. There have been other days where I used this time to simply read, learn something new or just get an extra hour of sleep or exercise that my body needed.
02
I will stop apologizing.
I stopped apologizing or feeling guilty for taking time off to take care of myself, “do nothing” or slow down. I also stopped apologizing or feeling guilty for not responding immediately to everyone or every email.
—What this looks like IRL
I’ve started scheduling in days or weeks off after a big milestone in a project is completed or whenever I’m starting to feel worn down. The best thing about working for myself is that I no longer have to count my vacation or sick days and worry about using them up. I can listen to my body more and while I don’t take set days off weekly, I do try and take half-days or an impromptu afternoon off to do a hike or get away for a bit.
I also turn of all notifications for most of the day. I set dedicated time maybe twice daily to respond to emails, inquiries and texts. In my old job, like many others, we had to be on-call and available all day via text. We also had to respond within a certain amount of time to all emails. I wanted to change this in my own business, and I’ve noticed that by doing deep distraction-free work in time-blocks, that I do my work twice as fast, if not faster, and no one (clients included) really cares about or notices the change in response time. And it has actually created healthier boundaries and expectations between my clients and I.
03
I will say no.
I will say no to people and things that don’t move me forward, lift me up or support my intentions. I will create boundaries with myself and others to protect my energy.
—What this looks like IRL
This one is hardest for me. Especially as a young business, I have to make money… like yesterday. So it’s hard for me to not want to push myself and grind it out to take on every opportunity (and paycheck) that lands in my lap. But I also know that I am just one me and I can only do so much.
I also understand that saying yes to too many things, means saying no to self-care, my personal life or even high-quality work and being able to provide great customer service or working towards one of my longer-term goals—all of which will make my business sustainable long-term. So I’ve become very careful about who and what I say yes and no to.
04
I will save it for tomorrow.
I will remind myself that work will always be there and that no matter how many things I cross off today, there will still be a tomorrow with more things.
This was a bit of a revelation for me the other day. I kept hearing myself say “I don’t have time to….” buy groceries, walk my dog, do yoga, take a break, etc. And I asked myself, well, why not? You make your own schedule, don’t you? You make your own deadlines, don’t you? You made this to-do list, didn’t you? (Yes, I have many conversations with myself.)
—What this looks like IRL
I realized that I was in total control of my time and my choices. I think oftentimes we can feel like we don’t have a choice…when actually we absolutely do.
For me this mostly means that I have to create less ambitious to-do lists daily and weekly. This actually has made me feel less defeated and more accomplished. I don’t always feel buried under a never-ending pile of to-dos but rather I can celebrate small wins every day.
I also have been forcing myself to structure my to-do lists based on what I can actually do, versus what I want to do. As my mother always says, “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”
It’s very typical for me to say “let me just….do this one more thing before bed”. And the next thing I know it’s 4am and I’m working around the clock. So now I mark my tasks based on their level of difficulty (or how long they will take). If it’s 7pm and I want to get one more thing done, I only allow myself to pick from my tasks that are tagged as quick. I force myself to save things for tomorrow or next week or next month so that I can avoid trying to doing everything all the time and burning myself out.
05
I will have compassion.
As much as I try to plan and pivot and persevere… being a solopreneur…..actually, being a human is hard. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns (hello, pandemic) and I’m learning to have more compassion for myself. I’ve always been my harshest critic, setting high expectations and putting pressure on myself to perform and produce.
But I’m learning that my value is not only in what I can create or do for others and that there is value in just being.
And if that sounds like you, too, I encourage you to have compassion for yourself in whatever you are trying to accomplish or do or not do.
I can’t yet say that the slow hustle is the golden ticket to finding perfect balance in life, love and work. But I’m starting to believe that slow and steady can still win the race (even if it’s a completely made up race against ourselves).
✨Self-Care Giveaway—
Don’t forget to comment below to be entered to win a self-care kit. Are you looking to slow down as a solopreneur or like living life in the fast lane?
